everyone is saying things! it’s my turn! (hello)
post-grad life is weird and i don't just want to scroll all the time!
If you’re reading this you’re either friends with me and I have force fed you this link, OR I posted this on my story and you are morbidly curious about the ways people you vaguely went to school with have decided to spend their singular time on this dying planet.
1. The joys of creation!
To be honest, the reason I even thought of doing this was because of watching a clip of Caleb Hearon’s podcast on TikTok. He’s talking about the saying “how you spend your days is how you spend your life,” and obviously my brain decided to go into a spiral right then and there.
It’s so utterly lame how TRUTHFUL this saying is, given that I know it’s made its rounds on male grindspo posts on Instagram reels.
I feel very attached to the titles I’ve given myself over the years, through school and hyperfixation cycles: writer, singer, performer, creative, bullet journal artist (some of my best work, not to pat myself on the back too hard).
Now that I have a full-time job, those titles are there, and I feel like they’re worn out nametags. I keep ripping them off as I go into work, take care of my needs, and try not to burnout and/or go insane.
I write once every six-months when I fancy it, does that make me a writer anymore? My once endlessly sticky nametag has fuzzies all over it and it feels like it’s harder and harder to adhere it to myself.
But isn’t it still me? Being in the higher education world, I think a lot about the lack of structured enjoyment in my adult life. Is it all drinks and dinners till we die?
So here I am, making my own structure, to wake up the little writer inside me and remind myself to actively work on and be those titles I assigned myself so long ago.
2. The joys of consumption!
While I want to create, I am a consumption addict. Even in my pursuit to create more, there will still be insane levels of screen time involved. Which means lots of music, tv, and book thoughts and recommendations.
3. The joys of being cringe and free!
I spend so much of my life worried about what other people will think. It’s an exhausting endeavor. But in the same vein of spending my days in a way I enjoy, in a way I want my life to be, I want to be cringe! I want to try things rather than bottle up any work or hope until it’s perfect — which is never.
Embrace the thought that something you do might get sent in a group chat, and that the world won’t explode because of it.
I’m hoping to write biweekly and share my thoughts in a confessional/self-aware/creative way, and recommend media that I’ve been adoring.
4. Why colorful nostalgia?
I spent a lot of my time as a child prematurely worrying about death. I have always felt the ticking of time somewhere deep inside me. Vignettes from when I was little, like raking the leaves to the Red album, walking through my grandma’s garden, playing out insanely detailed household dramas with Littlest Pet Shop toys, I hold so tightly that they are still so vivid. I was worried about my joy, my love, my people floating away. Forgetting me, leaving this earth, and only remembering faded imprints we left on each other.
Nostalgia might be my primary emotion. I feel it so profoundly, so colorfully, that it has become an irreconcilable part of me. It’s why I’m so drawn to creation, to art, to those moments so indescribable that words can’t do them justice. All this work to bottle up a feeling you once had and pray that someone else has felt it, too! To spend so much time and energy to make a mark on the world before you die, to feel so strongly about having something to share? That’s magic.
really relevant recommendations
Hacks, especially season 3. There have never been two more compelling female leads in a show; please fight me on this.
Problemista, especially if you are in a creative slump.
Here We Go Again by Alison Cochrun, especially if you need a queer summer read.
Turn off your email notifications. (thank you, Allison) I already check mine enough.
Thank you for reading, all love love love. Subscribe if you want!! (Monkey covering eye emoji)
